• “The power of a group a function of the purity of its motives”
• “Are moments of disproportionate influence? Moments where how someone behaves has an enormous effect on every result you care about?”
• Crucial Conversations:emotionally complex moments defined by 3 dimensions - opposing opinions
• strong emotions
• high stakes
• Big idea #1: The principle of crucial conversations anytime you find yourself stuck, stop and ask: “What crucial conversation are we not holding or not holding well?”- “when it matters most, we tend to do our worst”
• how do I behave differently toward a person when I have a negative conclusion about the person? It impacts our behavior and probably isn’t helping
• along our journey toward a super-awesome goal we will have crucial conversations
• 2 options when approaching a crucial conversation - talk it out
• act it out (if you don’t talk it out, you will end up acting it out)
• at a really young age we believe a myth that undermines all of our relationships “You have to choose between telling the truth or losing a friend”
• you can measure a health of a relationship or team based on the number of untalkables
• Your job as a leader to model, teach, coach, and measure
• 3 crucial moments in churches - performance problems wiht volunteers or staff
• members who are struggling in sin or disconnecting from the church
• concerns with pastors
• crucial conversations are a pit or a path upward toward our goal
• crucial conversations can become a path to intimacy
• crucial conversations are a trust-building accelerant”
• identify the 2 or 3 crucial conversations that most impact the mission of the organization
• learn to focus on crucial conversations
• The principal of crucial conversations: the vital behavior that enables most any positive organizational outcome is CANDOR at moments of acute emotional and political risk**
• results in individual influence, teamwork, productivity, marriage success, diversity, quality, safety
• seven crucial sills - start with heart
• learn to look
• make it safe - 2 things to do in the first 30 seconds of the crucial conversation to have a 97% chance you will be heard - mutual purpose – the entrance condition – you know that I care about your goals
• mutual respect – the continuance condition – you know that I care about you
• People never become defensive about what you’re saying. People become defensive because of why they think you’re saying it.
• master my stories
• STATE MY path
• explore others’ path
• move to action
• The myth that we can’t tell the truth and keep a friend keeps us from reaching our full potential

Categories: Leadership · Originally published on stephen.braunius.org