Session 5a: Mastering the Art of Crucial Conversations, Joseph Grenny

2014-08-15 9:39 AM

  • “The power of a group a function of the purity of its motives”
  • “Are moments of disproportionate influence? Moments where how someone behaves has an enormous effect on every result you care about?”
  • Crucial Conversations:emotionally complex moments defined by 3 dimensions - opposing opinions
  • strong emotions
  • high stakes
  • Big idea #1: The principle of crucial conversations anytime you find yourself stuck, stop and ask: “What crucial conversation are we not holding or not holding well?”- “when it matters most, we tend to do our worst”
  • how do I behave differently toward a person when I have a negative conclusion about the person? It impacts our behavior and probably isn’t helping
  • along our journey toward a super-awesome goal we will have crucial conversations
  • 2 options when approaching a crucial conversation - talk it out
  • act it out (if you don’t talk it out, you will end up acting it out)
  • at a really young age we believe a myth that undermines all of our relationships “You have to choose between telling the truth or losing a friend”
  • you can measure a health of a relationship or team based on the number of untalkables
  • Your job as a leader to model, teach, coach, and measure
  • 3 crucial moments in churches - performance problems wiht volunteers or staff
  • members who are struggling in sin or disconnecting from the church
  • concerns with pastors
  • crucial conversations are a pit or a path upward toward our goal
  • crucial conversations can become a path to intimacy
  • crucial conversations are a trust-building accelerant”
  • identify the 2 or 3 crucial conversations that most impact the mission of the organization
  • learn to focus on crucial conversations
  • The principal of crucial conversations: the vital behavior that enables most any positive organizational outcome is CANDOR at moments of acute emotional and political risk**
  • results in individual influence, teamwork, productivity, marriage success, diversity, quality, safety
  • seven crucial sills - start with heart
  • learn to look
  • make it safe - 2 things to do in the first 30 seconds of the crucial conversation to have a 97% chance you will be heard - mutual purpose – the entrance condition – you know that I care about your goals
  • mutual respect – the continuance condition – you know that I care about you
  • People never become defensive about what you’re saying. People become defensive because of why they think you’re saying it.
  • master my stories
  • STATE MY path
  • explore others’ path
  • move to action
  • The myth that we can’t tell the truth and keep a friend keeps us from reaching our full potential

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